Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Don't make me yack on you Yacker

So I live in Seattle. Seattle has some of the highest real estate prices in the country (outside of the real crazies like NY, LA and San Francisco). So I live WAY outside Seattle and commute to my little office every morning. I take the bus.

I normally don't mind the bus. Its a commuter so most people are like me--just going to their office. Unlike city buses where people scream and curse and takes shits in their pants (a story for another time).

I also come in very early in the morning so our famous traffic isn't bad yet. So my commute is pretty easy. I read a book or sleep or stare off into space.

But this morning they must have imported a crazy from downtown because we had what is known on buses as a "yacker."

Yackers talk constantly. To everyone. About anything. Appropriate or not. And this guy was no different. Talking about how he hated his boss and he was probably going to get laid off and how his wife was going to leave him (can't figure out why he is obviously such a winner) in the LOUDEST voice possible. This makes everyone on the bus uncomfortable. The Yacker is pissing off the morning sleepers--my bus leaves at 5:05 am, so most of us are not awake yet. Finally, he wakes up my Homeboy James. HJ takes the bus to the culinary arts school downtown everymorning. I know he is a homeboy because he sags his chef pants down to his knees. I know his name is James because his tag is all over everything else he carries. HJ wakes up and sits down next to the Yacker. He puts a toothpick in his mouth (because if James is awake he has a toothpick in his mouth--makes me excited to eat in this restaraunt he is going to cook in someday) and says, "Bitch, shut the fuck up."

Man the Yacker just stares at him.

And the entire bus applauds. Blissful silence for the rest of the trip. Wanted to give James a big ol' kiss.

So HJ, wherever you are, I owe you some tongue.

7:50 a.m. :: comment ::
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