Catty McBitchcakes
Managed to not throw my computer monitor across the room. Mainly because it was my fault. DAMN.
A lovely women I will call, Lil' Kim, who works at my office announced her engagment this week. Congrats to Lil' Kim!
However, since I work with all women, we cannot let this occasion pass without either making it about us or making a catty comment about the bride.
Self absorbed comment #1:
This is brought to us by the lovely, bubbly, and ditzy Heather. I adore Heather but she is about the most empty-headed person I have ever met. She is not stupid, just not all there. Heather offered congratulations, did the patented sorority-girl SQUEAL, and then MOANED (so loudly that I am sure that she was heard as far as Oregon) "WILL IT EVER BE MY TUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRN????"
Reality check. Girl you are TWENTY-THREE years old! I have heard that even Kentucky doesn't call you an old maid for another year and a half. Christ. Get a grip.
Self absorbed comment #2:
Another woman commented (before even saying congratulations), "Gee, I thought your ring would be bigger.'
NICE. Make the woman feel bad about an engagement ring before its a week old. Something she will wear for the rest of her life. And insult her groom by implying that he is cheap. Pleasant.
Catty comment #1:
"Which boyfriend is this one?" yes some one really said this, and in a snotty tone. Yes, when offering congratulations to a recently engaged person it is polite and tactful to imply that the bride is slutty. I am suprised that Hallmark doesn't make cards saying that very thing. Perhaps in 2004.
Catty comment #2:
"I can't believe YOU are getting married" this is meant to sound like a nice thing but it really isn't. It really means "I can't believe that some one would want to marry YOU."
Fortunately, I think Lil' Kim was too caught up in being all happy and in love to pay them any attention. Jealous wenches.
So congratulations Lil' Kim. And I think your ring is plenty big (dirty!).
