Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

I am the Very Soul of Romance

Heather got engaged today. This is excellent news because never again will we have to hear her wails of anguish concerning her boyfriend NEVER proposing. This has kicked another gal, Dynasty, into high gear but that is ok. Two down, two to go.

She is beyond thrilled, in that way that only former cheerleader/sorority girl/perky people can be. She made a face while telling us that looked like she was squealing but it was too highóonly dogs can hear that shit.

She asked me later if it was ok to be this excited and I said of course. She asked me if I was this excited and I said no.

Am I a buzzkill or what? But everyone is different and I was just not in a hurry to get married when I got engaged. And while I love being married, I HATED being engaged. She asked me if I thought the most important thing is being in love. And I said no. I am sorry I donít. I think that is definitely on the short list but man, there are some things that rank above that. I could love a bunch of people I think but I really canít imagine being married to anyone else. But of course I shouldnít have told her this. Sometimes I am much too blunt.

And since I know all of you reading this, ok the one of you reading this, are on the edge of your seats dying to know: how did J-germeister ask Anyabeth to marry him?

The story is not romantic when I tell it but seriously, it felt romantic to me at the time. The most important thing to know is that I am not a person that enjoys being made a fuss over. If he had asked me in an elaborate way where people would be looking at me I would have died in embarrassment. Anyabeth is shy.

So we were staying at my apartment and we had been talking all night. Because we used to do that then. We do it now but we are not completely awake anymore. We were talking about all kinds of things, for hours and he just looked at me and asked me. The reason it was romantic to me is that he asked me because he was truly convinced that he wanted to be with me forever.

Of course he does enjoy telling people that he asked me to marry him in bed. Just like he LOVES to tell people that I saw him naked the first time I met him.

OK. I will tell that story too. I was in massage school at the time and my client (who wasnít paying and was a friend of a friend) no-showed me. I didnít own my own table at the time and I had booked space and I really wanted to use it. I walked down to Starbucks and yelled out did anyone want a free massage?

He was the first, and most enthusiastic, volunteer. He was actually a great client, listened to my instructions, was nude (under a cover and really this makes it easier to do good work) but didnít behave inappropriately at all. I thought he was so sweet. Which proves that he wasnít acting at all like himself. But I also thought he had a cute ass.

Of course he tells EVERYONE that he was naked the first day we metóincluding my grandmother.

Actually that explains a lot about my husband.

Not a very exciting day so far. Went to lunch at Emmett Watsonís Oyster Bar for lunch with Monica. We discussed many things and ate entirely too much fried food. My PMS food binges are beginning earlier and earlier and will soon consume the entire month. I am going to have to find another reason that I am eating so badly. Besides it tastes good.

Got back to work in a food coma and still donít feel like doing much of anything. One of my buyers came over and told me all about his Vegas trip (we do shoes and there was a shoe show in Vegas last week). He got to go to the private club above the House of Blues and drink and eat for free and listen to incredible music. I am bitter because I sat in this steel coffin all week with no windows and didnít even have one drink.

I think he should buy me one to make up for that. But in truth, he will probably ask me to do something unreasonable like MY JOB.

3:05 p.m. :: comment ::
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