Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

An Apple a Day Brings the Police

2003-08-12
Had a lovely lunch with my mom and evil twin Monica. We went to a lovely fish bar on the waterfront for Mahi Mahi tacos. SO GOOD. But the service. It bit.

They were supposed to be open at 11, which they werenít, then when they did open they didnít bother to open the door or indicate in any way that they were open. Then when they finally did open workmen were still loading beer and supplies, making a ruckus and creating a mess in the dining area. Our food took forever and the cashier was rude as all get out when taking our order.

But the fish tacos. Were divine.

Monica was just emailing me about fruits and vegetables at state and Canadian borders. I personally have never been caught with anything at any border but I have heard plenty of stories. The worst was from my pal Molly from college. We went to college in Missouri and would fly in to Kansas City. Molly was from Casper, WY that does have an airport but a small one. Now keep in mind that this is all pre-9/11 and so Casper did not do security checks when you got on an airplane. You flew into Denver and were screened as you de-planed. Of course these planes were so small there was no food or beverage service and so most passengers just brought a snack or lunch with them. Mollyís mother always wanted to spoil her little baby girl and so she packed her a lunch and put an apple from their familyís orchard in the bag.

Now Molly is a college girl and most college girls donít eat anything but beer and candy. So she naturally skipped the apple and got off her plane in Denver. Where during the security check she was detained for having an apple. A HOMEGROWN APPLE. Because it never occurred to Molly to lie about where the apple came from.

Now most places they would just take your apple. But apparently in Denver they take their apple maggot quarantines very seriously. So they escorted Molly to their in-airport police station for questioning.

Keep in mind that she got off a plane from Wyoming. So there were seriously men carrying hunting knives onto the plane. But they are talking to an eighteen-year-old girl going to college after a vacation about an apple.

She was detained for four hours. She had to catch another flight and find another way to school. Over an apple.

Moral of this story: donít eat fruits and vegetables; they are security risks.

On a side note, does anyone else have a specific order that they eat Skittles? And M&Mís? I have a very particular order (by color) that I eat these candies and I am starting to feel like maybe this is abnormal.

Like that is the only abnormal thing about me.

2:21 p.m. :: comment ::
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