Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Exhibit G

PMS Update: If my period doesn't start today it's the apocalypse. I say this because I had my crazy-crying-semi-suicidal-hormonal-mess-freakfest last night and that always happens the night before I get my period. However, those looking for further evidence that I may have married the dumbest man on the planet may look at the People's Exhibit G, last night.

I am freaking out and I am sure its a distressing sight. I don't doubt that is very upsetting to MLH that he cannot possibly do anything right, that I am going to cry and then be fine and then cry again. I am sure that this must seem insane at this point. But we are talking about a period of time that your body is going through a crapload of hormonal stuff and then I throw some more in there by taking birth control pills and make it even worse. Crazy is normal at this point. Be grateful this is one night a month.

So he is trying to comfort me (good) and then starts talking (bad). He says, "Honey, don't you think you are just being a little emotional? We go through this every month . . "

I look back at him. And to be fair he does realize the stupidity of this remark the second he says it. And I hang on to my control. I tell him that he is probably right but that is possibly the most irrelevant fact ever. And that if he wants to live through my period each month he should refrain from blaming any mood on my period. EVEN IF IT'S THE TRUTH. Guys, I cannot stress this to you enough. It doesn't matter if you are right, act like her feelings are reasonable. She knows she is a lunatic right now but she can't do anything about it and you are only going to piss her off. Its a lot like taunting a grizzly bear with a bucket stuck on it's foot. It knows it looks ridiculous and it can't pull the bucket off it's foot. But it can rip your fucking face off and shit down your neck. Its really your decision.

After J wisely left me alone. I went with my only tried and true PMS cure. The Darla dog. She is perfect in times of crisis. She looks concerned. She licks my hand. She lays on my belly to relieve cramps. And she watched the Miss Teen USA pagaent with me. We both mocked the impossibly large forehead of Miss Vermont and laughed uproariously when one contestant flipped her hair so hard that it hit her in the eye. She totally said fuck when she thought the camera wasn't on her. Good times.

In unrelated happiness. Travis swears he is moving out at the end of the month! Now I am not holding my breath, because I have heard this before. But still! Excitement. For those not in the know, Travis is our friend who has been living with us for a year in a half. The original plan was that he live there for a year, then move out when he got out of the Navy. Well he didn't find a job for seven months after leaving the Navy (and didn't pay rent the entire time). I like Travis. But he is spoiled and bratty. He doesn't clean up after himself or exercise common courtesy (like cleaning his bathroom or not playing heavy metal music at incredibly loud volumes in the shower). He is surly and doesn't do anything that you ask him to do. In short, its like having a giant bald teenager living with us, except we never got to experience his cute baby stage. It will cause great joy in my house when he is gone. Me, because I get my studio back and J because I will stop bitching about it.

We will wait and see though. Like I said. He is a moving out tease and I won't be led on a again.

6:26 a.m. :: comment ::
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