Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Bloodthirsty Dogs and Redecorating Moms

All my fears were unfounded. Ok, not all my fears--I am still afraid of rats, no matter what anyone says I am sure they are just lying in wait to eat my eyeballs or give me rabies or something. I am still afraid of getting pregnant, because I do have sex and I am just waiting to get nailed for it. And man, I am still afraid of sea monkeys. I feel no need to explain that. However, my family had a grand time at the baseball game and that fear was all for not. There were people eating garlic fries, but mostly on the other side of the stadium because they don't sell them near where our seats were. And DAMN. Those seats were good. My Pops pitched a fit to some company for his job and they gave him their company seats for upsetting him. Daddy needs to throw tantrums (like his daughter) more often because those were fabulous seats. Right behind homeplate, 30 rows back. Even close to a bathroom. Does it get better than that?

Actually yes, because my mama bought me one of those frosty chocolate malteds with the wooden spoons and as far as I am concered it doesn't get better than that. Good seats, great weather and malteds. Even if the Mariners lost. Fuck it. They aren't my team anymore.

Down at my parents' house today to help them move the furniture into their newly redecorated living room. LOVE the colors. Love their new carpet. LOVE IT ALL. The endless quest for end tables will likely last until we die but that is ok. And even better, my dad likes the end result so much that he is willing to consider colors in other rooms in the house. My mother is a very vibrant person, living in a hospital white house must be very depressing for her. I took her to Home Depot (which she hates, so this is how much she wants to redecorate). My daddy better watch out or he will end up with an orange kitchen, red dining room and yellow office. The woman is into rainbows right now.

My mother can hold a grudge. And her loathing of Home Depot comes from her love of trees and a former hardware chain, Eagle. Home Depot cut down a big field of trees to build their store in my parents' town about twelve years ago. That store was also across the street from the Eagle's store. My mother has HATED Home Depot ever since. Even telling me that she would semi-disown me if I went to work there. Eagle was sold to Lowes a few years ago but that hasn't stopped her from holding this grudge. I don't know. She hates Walmart too. And boycotted a mall in the area for ten years over a misunderstanding. She is a scary woman let me tell you.

The dogs are loving being down here at Grandma and Grandpa's though. They are spoiled rotten (this does not make me want to provide them with actual grandchildren by any means) and get to play with the two dogs that live here. Buster kept me up all night wanting to go upstairs and play. He did not take kindly to me poking him and pulling him around this morning while he tried to take a nap. But if the little fucker wouldn't let me sleep why should I let him?

Across the street there is a woman who keeps a lot of birds in an aviary on her veranda. A couple of them got loose and she has bullied some neighborhood children into helping her capture them. The kids don't seem to know so much about birds and are now being chased by these birds. It's a little bit Hitchcock's The Birds crossed with Barney out there. I better make sure Darla is inside before she decides to try to go snack on a birdie. I have seen what she can do to a frog and it's just awful trying to get their intestines out of her fur.

Bloodythirsty little wench.

3:24 p.m. :: comment ::
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