Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Just Let Your Leg Hair Grow

There is a girl here at work that works really hard to look perfect all the time. Actually there are a lot of women here who do that, but she is actually really sweet about it. When her boyfriend had been out of town and she was picking him up from the airport she brought three different outfits to change into, plus her skincare regimen and makeup bag.

They have been dating for years.

She never lets him see her anyway but perfectly dressed and groomed.

They are moving in together next month. Frankly, I am exhausted just thinking about it. Mr. Anyabeth helped dig an ingrown hair out of my ass when we had been together a couple of months. Girls, believe me when I tell you it doesnít kill the mystery.

Besides, why would you want a man who couldnít handle seeing you with your hair messy, in sweatpants and a big PMS pimple on your forehead?

I have never met her boyfriend but I am thinking he could be man enough to handle it. If not, good riddance sucker.

Not that she shouldnít try to look nice. But truth be told most men I know donít care too much about makeup and hair. Save it for special occasions, they will appreciate it more. If you look good all the time, how are you going to top it?

Besides, one of the best things about living with a man is when you have had a bad day they rub your feet, maybe make you a drink. Now are you going to enjoy that if you are worried about the fact that you didnít shave your legs and your hair is a mess?

Maybe all women do this and I am freakish.

Annoyed with my mom. I have the same bedroom furniture that I have had my entire life. The dresser was my older sisterís changing table. I have my parentsí old couch that they bought in 1982. The only thing that Mr. Anyabeth and I had bought together is a futon in his game room and some miscellaneous bookcases and desk components. Everything else is a hand-me-down or consignment find. Which is fine. But seriously, can I buy a couch and a coffee table. My mother got all huffy with me and literally sneered, ďI didnít get new furniture until I had been married five years.Ē

Well mom, we know Dad is a cheapskate. Could I possible live my own life now or am I just doing a re-run of yours?

My mom and I have never had that relationship that you read about all the timeóthe one where the mom criticizes her daughterís hair, relationships, career and housekeeping. But my mom gets a little huffy when I make different life choices than her. Itís like she thinks that I am finding fault with her if I do something different. By making meatballs in my spaghetti instead of loose meat I am saying she is a bad mother.

Gee, I wonder where I got my hypersensitive streak?

I just wish I could have a couch that I liked without making it about me hating the one she has. Or cut my hair and have her believe that itís not so I will look different than her. Or for me to wear heels and have her not believe itís to spite her because she canít wear them anymore.

Of course the line for tickets to that universe would be awfully long. I bet you were supposed to make reservations at birth and I was too busy playing with my Winnie the Pooh mobile.

So instead I will get a guilt trip for daring to be different than my mother.

Funny how tickets are always available for that train.

11:29 a.m. :: comment ::
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