Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Won't You Be My Neighbor? Seriously

I just love Fridays. Not for the usual reasons. But for the whole I-have-three-days-stretched-in-front-of-me feeling that I get every Friday morning.

J has a job interview next week (YEA!). But because we both believe that you don't go to an interview unless you think you would take the job (unless something weird happens at the interview) we were discussing it first last night. This job requires 50% travel. Actually, it's 100% travel. You are gone two weeks and then you stay home (no work) for two weeks. He knows me. He knows that this will upset me. But I could do it. Honestly, just wanting him to be happy and he was so unhappy at the job he had before getting laid off. I think he would enjoy the travel. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Patience. Yet another virtue that I don't possess. I would have been stoned to death in Victorian England.

One of my neighbors came over to tell me what she considered a big important secret. She knocks on my door and whispers (because people are listening?), "while you are at work I see your husband upstairs watching porn."

I didn't even try to hide my laughter. Of course my husband watches porn! Goddamn lady I am sure your husband does too. And if not, scary. I don't care if he does it. And how hard is she having to look to see in our upstairs. I know what she means, he has a game room that has a fouton and a TV in it. I am sure he sits in there, and the windows are half open for a fan. Worst case scenerio, she can see the TV screen but not him. More likely scenerio, she can hear the music and doesn't want to admit that she knows it's porno music. Seriously. I am supposed to be worried. I have two guys living in this house. If our house blew up because the neighbors decided to bomb our sinning lives I have no doubt that about half of what you would find in the house would be porn. And look at me, worrying all over the place about it. I only have two rules, you cannot watch it on the big TV downstairs unless something is covering every single window (we have lots of kids in the neighborhood) and keep it somewhere that my mother won't find it.

I know. I am a bad neighbor but a kick-ass wife.

Alright, I have a pug and dachshund watching me do this and I am getting the "Mama, back away from the white box and play with us or we are shitting in your favorite shoes," look.

9:49 a.m. :: comment ::
prev :: next