Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Aren't Toilet Seats a Constitutional Right?

Ya'll we finally won a softball game!!!!!

Oh, and who do you think made a fabulous play at the plate and then doubled off the guy running to second (on me, he was running on ME!)? OH YEAH!

Yes it was me.

The smelly lady was on the bus again today. But I carefully sat in the back and as far away from her as possible. Under an air vent. With the windows open.

Christ, it shouldn't be possible to smell that badly.

Oh, back to last night. Hey Shoreline Parks Department? For the LOVE OF GOD, could we have toilet seats in the women's bathrooms? Pretty PUHLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE? I am not talking about toilet seat covers. And don't worry, it's not like I am suggesting something wild and revolutionary like toilet paper. Just the seats. The ones that you carefull unscrewed and removed. And left the joints from still attached to the toilet. So we could all sit on the very cold, very NARROW, stainless steel toilet bowls. In these outdoor bathrooms. That have RATS in them.

I am sure that there is some unspeakable thing that can be done with toilet seats that I am not thinking of. I am sure that some one, probably in Arkansas or Texas somewhere, once used a toilet seat to highjack a school bus and rob a bank. A bank that only had nuns for customers. But not everyone that likes toilet seats is like that. If I promise not to high jack school buses or rob nuns or banks can I please have a fucking TOILET SEAT?

The part that kills me about this is that they obviously had seats at one point, and they were removed. Like we couldn't be trusted with such sophisticated equipment as all that. And I would think that they had been stolen (as weird as that is, because he wants to steal such things) but they have been like this all summer. If they had been stolen wouldn't they replace them? With chains on them, like in campgrounds?

You don't miss this kind of equipment until it's gone.

I'm telling you.

OH! And Everwood last night. Everyone who is tired of that little whiny spoiled Amy raise your hand. That had better be everybody. And next week she becomes a slut! YEAH! Of course it will be the WB's version of a slut. Kissing two boys in the same week and drinking a beer. But still.

Oh and Ephram. The summer did that boy some good. Did you see his abs?

I am having impure thoughts about a minor.

I will go back to work now.

6:40 a.m. :: comment ::
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