Unibrow and Suitcases
My husband called me at two o�clock to ask me where his suitcase is. Even though I told him last night. He is just now packing, even though he is supposed to leave our house at three. With everything packed, the house nice, the dogs� stuff packed, etc.
And how did he do anything before we were married?
Yesterday he called me for our Doctor�s phone number. Called me at work. Even though it�s written down at the house, it�s on every prescription bottle in the house and he has access to a phone book.
I mocked this and found out that I am married to �some one who can function on their own.� The rest of the women of the world. Married to big fat babies.
My husband does cook and clean. Now he cooks better than he cleans and it would NEVER occur to him to dust. However, he does it. And other than the whole cleaning the toilet with Windex he does ok.
One woman told me her husband wanted her to come home early today because the cable guy was coming to the house. He isn�t grown up enough to answer the door?
J had to call me to ask what size shirt he wears. I find this hilarious because he asked me. And also because he just didn�t look in one of them that fit. I am not sure if this is because he doesn�t know or if he knows he is supposed to run most clothing things through he first.
Oh and he isn�t allowed to do laundry alone because he always shrinks something or turns it pink or washes an ink pen in hot water.
My own father cannot do laundry. He is fifty-six years old. When my mom leaves town I have to call and check on him every day. I don�t know if I am checking to see if he drinks bleach or what. He also knows how to cook but will only eat Dinty Moore stew and Spaghetti O�s until she gets back.
My boss�s husband calls her a dozen times a day. For things like where is my blue sweater? And how old is our youngest child?
Does something happen to men when they get married that makes them incapable of taking care of themselves? Does something about the words �I do� change the brain patterns in men from self-sufficient and wonderful to dippy and ridiculous?
Maybe I just hold him to a higher standard than while we were dating. I mean when I first met him I thought he was hot enough that he didn�t need to pluck his eyebrows. Now I scream like a harpy at the first sign of unibrow.
Oh crap. Gotta call him and make sure he picked a tie that matched his shirt.
