Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

If I Was A Veteran, Could I Have Today Off? Because I Am. No, Really.

I hate my dogs. And don't worry, they hate me.

Write now they are locked in their little crates composing poems entitled, "Why I Hate Mama, A Haiku" and "Kill the Bitch, She SUCKS."

Don't cry for me.

Those little bastards ran from me for about ten minutes today while I was trying to put them in their crates. Ten minutes! After day after day of just running into the box when they are told. I had to drag Darla out from under the bed. Physically carry Buster. They are on different floors. I don't want them strategizing about busting out today. Let them do that on Daddy's watch.

So they made me a little late leaving. Not so late I couldn't make it. But I ended up behind a lovely person I like to call Miss Mary Speed Limit.

I hate that bitch.

She drove twenty-five out of my neighborhood. First of all, I live in the country. I leave my house before five am. There are no children at play, any cats left out for the night have been eaten my coyotes. No reason to drive slow. Most of us routinely speed out of there at forty-fifty miles an hour.


Then on the first highway, speed limit sixty, she goes fifty-five. Jesus H Christ. I have seen exactly one person pulled over in more than two years. He was going one hundred and he hit a pig. You aren't getting a ticket Miss Mary Speed Limit so get the fucking lead out. Or get out of my way. I am reasonable you know.

But no. Second highway. Same fucking story. I finally get around her and go flying the rest of the way to the bus. Make the bus by THIRTY SECONDS. Another mile of Miss Mary and I would still be waiting for a bus. Damn her and her law-abiding ways.

I had vowed that I would be more positive and less angry today.

Not a good start so far.

On the bright side J got switched back to his regular schedule and does not have to work this weekend. Which means pancakes, sleeping in and Saturday morning cartoons for us this weekend. Can I get a whee?


Plus he taped Everwood for me last night so I could go to bed early.

What a man.

He looked damn cute this morning, wearing some of his new Old Navy clothes. I should be a stylist for men. I suck at picking out my own clothes. I do a good job with my mother. But I am fantastic with men. It's a talent really. They all look much hotter when I am done with them.

EW. DIRTY! Not that way!!!

Alright. Big day. Have messages to listen to and think about returning.

Happy Veteran's Day! Since my cheap-assed company doesn't give us the day off.

So disrespectful.

6:44 a.m. :: comment ::
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