Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

I've Got a Fever

Does Shannon Doherty have Chrohn's? Because I am the number one website on google if you search for that shit.

Monica and I freaked some people out yesterday. We were talking about baby names. Basically, we didn't want to steal each other's favorite one. Fortunately, I have a Scottish last name, hers is Korean. The first names that sound cute with those last names do not overlap that much.

However, people heard us talking (damn their ears) and threw a HISS. Because they figured that one or both of us was pregnant.







Just overly prepared people.

Relax. We just want to be ready in case we find out we are pregnant. Especially if we turn out to be like one of those women from Kentucky that figure it out at nine months. I mean if you only have a week and a half to prepare than you should really have some things ready ahead of time. I am not sure how this happens to people, honestly. But if it does I do like to be prepared.

I am weird. For many reasons. But right now it is because I have serious Baby Fever but at the same time not so much. I really want one but I really do not want to have one. Confused? Yeah. Me too.

I'll give you an example of how this could work. Last year we had this big pregnancy scare. By the time I got the nerve to buy a pregnancy test and actually take the damn thing I was SURE that I was pregnant. I so wasn't pregnant.

And I cried. I BAWLED. For a very long time. Because I felt like the baby had died. The baby I didn't want. The baby I prayed would not exist.

Still confused? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Imagine my poor husband. He doesn't know whether to be happy or sad. He is on board with waiting--it makes more sense money-wise. However, he loves kids and if I got pregnant tomorrow he would be THRILLED. It's me that insists that we wait.

You know why?

Because your life is OVER when you have a baby people. Especially if you are the mama.

Traveling? I have never traveled. I really want to. But am I going to drag a baby to Europe? Or a toddler? No. Am I going to leave said baby or toddler with some one else while I go to Europe? No. I don't even like to leave the dogs with my parents (who double as a doggie resort) for a weekend. Plus, babies make you poor. You can't be poor and travel.

If you want to keep your house anyway.

My career? Well I have two choices. Come back right away, don't spend time with the baby and be as neglectful as possible. OR. Join the Mommy Track and never get promoted again. There might be other choices. But no many. And none of them really great. All of this may matter to me or it may not matter to me. I can't actually even decide on that.

My marriage? Well it's nice just being two. Once we have a baby we will never have time alone. Never get to do things on the spur of the moment. No weekends away. No spontaneous sex. All the fun stuff? GONE.

It must be hormonal though. Because I just want to have one anyway. But I also really don't.

It is my nature to be decisive. To have a plan. I decide what I want, make a plan and go to town.

It is really hard to go to town when you can't figure out what fucking town you want to go to.

But at least I know what little Anyabeth II or J Junior will be named.

I'm not telling though. Ya'll will steal.

6:57 a.m. :: comment ::
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