Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Laundry Drama

My husband did my laundry.

I am sure there are wives out there who would faint from the joy of that statement. It actually caused my face to flush with rage. It is not his fault. He cannot understand the high stakes game that is women's laundry. But until he can, he needs to not touch it. I am just saying.

In the past he has ruined wool sweaters, dressy pants, and my favorite t-shirt.

This time it was much worse. My favorite jeans.

I have a hard time finding jeans. I have big legs and a round ass and the fashion industry doesn't want women to have asses. And certainly not round ones. But these fit really well. They were pretty flattering and comfortable.

But they have stretch. SO DO NOT DRY THEM ON HIGH.

They looked like toddler pants ya'll. But I have this trip this weekend and I need these jeans. So I spent a very long time getting them on this morning. And they do not look good. I look like a giant sausage. If they don't stretch out by tonight I am going to have to hurt some one.

And J felt so bad about it I ended up comforting him about it. The lobster comforting the chef who threw him in the goddamn boiling water to begin with!

So he promised me (AGAIN) that he wouldn't do the laundry again. I love him, I don't believe him and I just might kill him next time.


In other news J's Super Bowl Party is turning into drama.

His friend Moose lives with Travis (who you may recall used to live with us). Moose used to live with Donut (the sad part is these are the names that they really use) but that did not work out so well. Donut claims that Moose didn't pay his share, had a crazy girlfriend who was over all the time (who he would have sex with in the living room) and was a terrible roommate. Travis says that Moose has just been depressed and people need to be supportive. Donut is very good friends with out pals Keith and Tiffany--all three of them have talked some serious shit about Moose. When Donut moved back (he moved to Texas for a couple of months) Keith tried to get Travis to share an apartment with him. Travis got pissed and told Moose. So now Moose won't come if Keith and Tiffany come. Donut won't come if Moose is there. And J and Travis are in the middle.

It is so Young and the Pointless.

I think they are all being assholes. First of all, Moose should have told his friends that he was having these problems. He went to counseling, this would have been good information to share with people. All of these guys would have been more understanding if they thought it was more than him being an ass because he likes a crazy girl. Second, Donut and Moose should sort this out on their own. Keith, Tiffany, Travis and J all need to butt out. Because honestly they are not helping. Third, Keith and Tiffany should apologize to Moose for talking shit. It was none of their business. Fourth, they should do all of this before Sunday because my husband deserves a nice party with all of his friends there and they are fucking ruining it!

Not that anyone will ask me.

7:06 a.m. :: comment ::
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