Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

I Married a Gay Man But He Still Won't Wax His Eyebrows

I have been having the most disturbing email conversation with my husband all day. It has gone a little something like this:

J: So the OC was really fucking good last night.

A: BWAHAHA I forgot that you watch that.

J: Shut up. You watch teen dramas.

A: Of course I did because I am a GIRL. I am supposed to. You are supposed to watch Sports Center.

J: I do watch Sports Center (though not as much as YOU) but it's not baseball season yet so who cares? Besides the moms are really hot on the OC.

A: Yeah. I don't think the main girl is all that hot. In her Neutragena commercial she actually looks kind of like a giraffe. With weird hair. The girls in my teen drama are hotter. And are sluttier.

J: Yeah. But the writing is better.

A: HEE! The writing is better. SO?! I admit that your teen drama had a threesome. Mine has several love triangles, illegitimate sons and a sex tape of some one's mother but no threesomes.

J: It's awesome. You need to watch it. When baseball is not on we have nothing to talk about.

By the way, there was this guy on the bus who had the worst mullet EVER. It was permed and had a comb over.

A: See? We have things to talk about. Mullets. We can always talk about mullets.

J: And he was wearing tapered pants. Are they allowed to make those anymore?

A: Now you are scary me.

I think I have made my husband into a gay man. Because not only his watching the teen dramas (and offering an opinion on which male character is best in bed) but he notices fashion mistakes on the bus. Not that it is hard to notice them. But still. Am I making him watch too much What Not to Wear and Queer Eye?

Though there was this man last night wearing the cutest black trainers EVER. Unfortunately, he was wearing them with gray gym socks. And the rest of his outfit was extremely conservative. Making me think that his dog ate every single pair of shoes that he owned and he had to borrow those from his young son, who is possibly a homosexual.

Those sure were cute shoes though.

10:19 a.m. :: comment ::
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