Conversion Conversations
This makes us an oddity in so many ways. As the rabbi I spoke to explained, most people who convert to Judaism do so because they are marrying or are in a relationship with some one who is Jewish. He has never had a married couple that were raised Christian convert together.
I have a feeling we will be discussed in one of his theology classes.
This is a difficult decision. One that we haven't actually made yet. But I think we will at least begin taking classes soon.
We have said since we got married that we were going to find a religion that we could agree on before we had kids. That we wanted to raise our children in one religion (though they could become something else once they grew up) so that they had a concept of God, but also so they could understand what Mommy and Daddy believe.
It took us a long time to get to this place. I was raised in a deeply religious family. My parents were both raised in religious homes. And while they were raised in different religions and converted to a compromise one when they married, they are both Christians. My father attended parochial school as a child. His mother thinks that my sister and I are going to burn and hell because my formerly Methodist mother yanked my father off of the correct path and we were raised as Pagans. I won't say what sect my father was raised in, it is a small one and my aunt just figured out google. I do not need to be outed with this entry.
When you were brought up Christian and your family believes that and you never really did (even as a small child in Sunday school) it is hard. It is also hard to admit to your parents that you are thinking of leaving behind what they taught you. Even though I have not been to church in years, it was very difficult to talk about this with my mother. She was visibly upset. She feels that she failed me as a parent.
This makes me feel like I failed her. Though I suspect neither is true. You cannot teach faith. My parents taught my sister and I to think for ourselves. The problem with that is when you choose to believe something different than your parents. That can be a bitter pill for them to swallow.
I won't talk about this with my father until we are farther along in the process. After all the shit his mother has given him I hope that he will respect my decision. Telling my sister will be easy--she doesn't think that the church we were raised in is a "real church" either and besides she "knows (we) will see the light once Jesus starts chasing (us)."
Telling my grandparents will be something else. Part of me says that I shouldn't. Even though it is not in my nature to lie. They don't really know whether we attend church now or not or what that church might be. They don't know that J was never baptized. The problem is when we have kids they won't be baptized and they will be Jewish. And I need for everyone to respect that.
J told our friend Keith that we were thinking of converting. All he said was, "So what the Hell will your last name be?"
I fucking love Keith.
