Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Smile This

When I get to work there is only one other person here. She is currently playing Reba McIntyre's greatest hits on the loudest possible setting.

I have tried being subtle. Turning my music up slowly trying to drown hers out. Its not working. I may have to go cut the cord of her cd player.


I found my Holy Grail yesterday. A tank top that is long enough even for my extra extra long torso. Seriously. This sucker goes past my hip. It is heaven for a girl used to having her shirts hike up around her belly button.

When Monica saw it she squealed with joy. Something as long as this should be able to cover her belly as it gets bigger too.

See?! Everyone is happier when I am happy.


Went to sleep at like 8:15 last night. Overslept until 4:30 this morning. HEAVEN. If I got eight hours of sleep every night I would be a better person. I would probably smile and be perky and annoy everyone. HMMMMM. This could be why I have the schedule I do.


Speaking of smiles. I am not a smiler. I never have been. I smile when I am happy. Or amused. Or feel like it. I don't like my smile and I don't use it unless I really feel like smiling. Otherwise it looks awful and fake and that is worse than not smiling.

I really hate that I work in such a nice-nice place that I am forced to fake-smile all freaking day. But when I walk past the hall I smile at people walking by because I learned in the past that if I don't people think that I don't like them and blah blah these people are crazy cakes.

But when I am working I should not have to smile. I am THINKING. Trying to make this freaking company some money. Don't make me focus on looking happy while I do that. Save that for the perky people. The ones that probably don't think too much.

And don't you dare patronize me and tell me to smile. Men, especially, seem to want to do this. I don't know if it makes women seem more mindless and vacant and therefor less threatening or what. But telling me, "smiling takes fewer muscles than frowning" or "turn that frown upside down" is much more likely to get a kick in the groin from me than a smile. Way to tell me my value to you is more in my facial expression rather than my work quality or abilities you cocksucking weasel.

What is amazing to me is that my boss actually seems to think that this is the most important thing. That if we look happy that means that we are.

People I don't even smile all the time when I am happy. A neutral expression doesn't mean that a person is miserable. It means that they person could be thinking anything. Goddamn. Just hire a freaking smiling robot and fire me already.

I am doomed.

6:45 a.m. :: comment ::
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