Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Three Things

Buckle your seat belts kids, I have so many things to bitch about today.

First of all, if ONE MORE PERSON tells me that "they do not vote because none of that stuff affects them" I will rip their face off, burn their house down and kick their puppy.

No I won't. I love puppies.

But ya'll EVERYONE should vote. I firmly think that voting is the single most important thing that people do as adults. I think it should be a requirement to be a citizen. I think you should not be able to send your kids to public school, drive or have a fair trial unless you vote. If you do not vote you are a cocksucking piece of shit.

Do you know why? Because people have died so that you can fucking vote. Because that is the only way that we as a collective group control our group destiny. And if you do not give a shit about that then I do not give a shit about you.

Seriously. You can vote differently than me. You can have different priorities than me. In fact, I am sure that you will and you do. That is precisely the fucking point actually. But I am so tired of people bitching about gas prices and sex ed in schools or whatever and then admitting that they don't vote. Actually they don't admit it, that makes it sound like they are at least ashamed that they don't vote. No these idiots ANNOUNCE that they don't.

To me this is like standing up on your desk and announcing that you are an asshole.

Because you are.


Secondly, assholes on the bus. When an older person is on the bus and there is no seat available--GIVE UP YOUR SEAT. Older is defined as the same age as your mother or older. This rule takes effect the day you are fourteen. If you had a teen mom and this means that you are giving up your seat to twenty-nine year olds than take it up with her.

Anyone who makes a sixty year old woman stand up on a forty-five minute bus ride (like happened on my commute yesterday) should be forced to sit with my grandmother and look at her photo collection of corpses in their coffins for three hours. This is a first offense punishment. After that we just shoot you, it is kinder anyway.


Third, if you would like to send me anti-Jewish email or call me names or threaten to call Jesus on me you may continue to do so. I value your right to free speech. But I also value mine so let me tell you ahead of time to go to Hell.

That is all.

7:15 a.m. :: comment ::
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