Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Part One

Alright, so many things happened on this trip. It was certainly not as surreal as our trip in October, but it had its moments.

First, let me share that you should not take a women with Crohn's disease on a long car trip and expect it to go well. Oh sorry, are you squeamish? Stop reading. Because the day we left, after much excitement with my mother and the watching of Harry Potter and much pedicuring I passed out in her guest room (my high school room) with a crippling migraine. When J got there I ate dinner and drugged myself in preparation for the trip.

Which seemed to trigger a gastrointestinal response?

So we are driving in the middle of the night and I am asking him to stop every twenty minutes. Until I caved in Oregon and chugged an entire bottle of Pepto Bismol. Dooming myself to a weekend of shitting black.


That seemed to end my stomach issues. Except every time we went into a Macy's store. Seriously. The entire weekend, whenever we went into a Macy's I would have to crap. J and I decided it was the CEO of my company carving up my colon in retribution.

So other than these gross episodes are trip down was ok. We didn't make it through the night like we hoped we would. We slept in a rest stop in Oregon. One that was scary and dirty. They all are in Oregon really. There was a missing person's poster on the bathroom door. Always a re-assuring sign.

But we didn't get raped, murdered or arrested. Always a delightful happening.

But we rolled into San Francisco much later than we had imagined. And were completely wiped out. I think the past couple of months have been too stressful for both of us honestly. By the time we got to our friend's Chris' house we just wanted to shower and hang out.

He took us to a couple of touristy places, including a great music store and then we went to see Troy.

I don't understand how they fucked up that movie but they did. The acting was great, the effects beautiful. But they took a vibrant and interesting story and sucked everything fun about it in order to make it a very generic love story. And cheesy as fuck. Several scenes with semi-naked Brad Pitt do not make up for that crap.

Which of course means everyone in the free world will love it.

And they made Orlando Bloom into such a pussy. I mean I know Paris is a pussy, but he wasn't that bad. He was more arrogant and ridiculous. I don't know. I prefer him with elf ears or as a pirate apparently.

The rest of our stay in SF was lovely. We didn't party much. Frankly, I think we are getting old. We went shopping. Got very lost taking the bus. Ended up on a very quiet street that I got the strong feeling we should not have been on. Went to Lush, my favorite skin care store in the world. And had sticker shock. Because that shit is so much cheaper in Canada.

We ended up at the pub near Chris' house that night. They were arguing politics with two regulars. The hilarious part was that everyone there agreed with each other but somehow was still arguing. It is easy to forget, in liberal cities like SF and Seattle that a lot of the country doesn't hate GW Bush. I am not sure why they do not. But they don't.

They also think Ronald Reagan was a great President so clearly they have a sanity problem. As in they are not.

These two days were lovely and fun and honestly they proved to be our payment for the rest of the trip which was scary and surreal and insulting.

And I will get to that tomorrow.

4:31 p.m. :: comment ::
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