Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

More Turkey Mr. Chandler?

Something smells in my office today. It smells . . .salty? I have this terrible feeling that it is me. I know I have a heightened sense of smell and so it is probably not noticible to anyone else but it just doesn't smell right. Its like soy sauce. Why do I smell like soy sauce?

Its not just the smell. Something is just off in me today. The thought of food makes me just want to lose it. It was that way last night too. I couldn't stand the thought of eating anything except crackers with butter. And I was starving. But that was the only thing I would have even near me.

Ya'll just envy my husband don't you? I am just so easy to get along with.

Poor J. Not only does he have to put up with me (which I know is not really the joy and pleasure that I pretend that it is) but he got this job offer yesterday. And I am making him decide on his own.

God I am a bitch. Because if it was me I would be whining every five minutes, "What should I DOOOOOOOOOOOO?"

Its a lot more money. And more of the sort of work that interests him. But he would have to work a LOT. And it would be really hard for him. A big challenge. And it is not as secure as what he has now.

I told him not to worry about the money, just to do what would make him happiest.

Inside I am totally thinking about the money. About how this much more would solve a lot of the problems we are having. How we could pay off our little debts and paint the house and finally buy a fucking couch. And have more money in savings.

Especially since I will not be changing jobs or getting a promotion (even though I am going to be doing more work, but I am done obsessing over this) any time soon.

I really do just want him to like his job. I mean that is what we went through all this for right?

Or we could just win the lottery. That works for me too.

Monica and I went out for burritos yesterday at our favorite place. She got our favorite guy. I got a new girl. The reason we love this man (and seriously would marry him if we were not already married) is that he uses basically a POUND of sour cream and guacamole on your burrito. It is a beautiful sight. The new girl? She put maybe a teaspoon. Which is probably what they are supposed to do. I still don't care. FIRE THE BITCH.

And then Monica makes me laugh forever when she says that the third guy (who really doesn't use enough sour cream either) reminds her of a Friends episode. I know ya'll have seen it. Its a Thanksgiving one and Chandler is talking about how his parents got divorced because his dad was sleeping with the houseboy and the houseboy comes by and says, "More turkey Mr. Chandler?"

This guy has that voice.

Exactly that voice.


All day long we were saying that. We will probably keep saying it until we die. It will still be funny.

Though it probably isn't to you.

Sorry about that.

7:10 a.m. :: comment ::
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