Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003


People often use the phrase "honor among thieves" but I really think that there is an honor among women.

It is not to not steal from each other, or talk poorly about each other or to actually even prevent harm of another woman. In fact, I think women are the harshest critics and most lethal juries of each other. We will exact the most horrifying penalties upon each other.

Our honor is that we will not directly insult each other. It is rare that I have seen one woman walk up to another and say, "You're a bitch." In fact, most of the times I have seen such a thing it has happened on a TV drama.

But we will tear each other down in many subtle ways. We comment on each other's bodies, food, sexual behavior. Anything is up for grabs. As long as you insult them nicely.

My hot button is weight and food. This is because I am not a little person, though I am absolutely in normal range. Because I work in fashion, many of the women here are tiny and feel that it is our duty as a group to be as thin as possible.

I don't really like Diet Coke. I take that back, I like Diet Coke. But I love real Coke. LOVE it. When I am stressed or not feeling well or whatever, it is the one thing that will ALWAYS calm my stomach. I don't drink coffee, if I need a jolt of caffeine I am getting it from Coke. Whenever I drink a Coke in my office some one always comments on it. Usually something along the lines of, "Oh I can never drink the regular Coke, too many empty calories," the implication is that I am somehow lacking in control in drinking something with sugar in it.

I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I hate how we have tied our morality and our worth as people up with denying ourselves and all women everywhere of FOOD. Something that is basic and necessary to live. I remember reading a study where the majority of women admitted that they would rather have cancer than have to gain fifteen pounds permanently.

But we cut each other down in other ways too. A woman I know never hesitates to tell me that she NEVER watches TV and how it rots her brain. Great. Then she will move on and say that no one SHOULD EVER watch TV. Well thanks for being my mother there sister. I mean, I couldn't be an adult and make those decisions myself could I?

All day long. A woman on the bus telling her friend that she shouldn't tell her husband that she makes more money than him because only "castrating bitches" do that.

Another woman in the store, "You are so lucky, I would much rather have no breasts at all like you."

I see women trashing rape victims. I see women criticizing working mothers.

Why do we do this to each other? When did we get so vicious? Are we so afraid of being seen as man-haters that we have turned our anger into self-hatred.

It feels like the one thing that is sure to set off a women is to see another woman who is happy.

8:24 a.m. :: comment ::
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