Dog Shit and Frenchies
I even managed to feel sorry for him when I got up this morning and stepped in another pile in my bathroom. Though I will tell you, nothing says Monday like washing dog shit off your feet.
* * *
So my grandparents came buy yesterday. Was very anti-climactic. They barely looked at the house. Didn't seem to care much about where we lived or what we did. These are not the same people that I knew when I was a kid. These are not actually the same people that I even saw last year.
People think that eighty is not old. Eighty is OLD. Not that you cannot be happy and do many things. But you are not yourself anymore. At least, most people are not. And it does no good to anyone for all of us to pretend.
We went antiquing. And to lunch. And then we went home.
I'll never see them again.
I mean that. I really won't. I have been back to Iowa for the past two years. I cannot imagine going ever again. And they won't ever be back here.
I cried all the way home.
Just like I cried when we left my other grandpa's house last year. I won't ever see him again either.
I know that I am so very lucky. Lucky that they are still all alive and independent.
But this is so much harder I think. Its better than losing them before, but harder too.
I have so much more to lose.
But I won't ever see any of them again.
* * *
My sister sent me this book, Entre Nous, A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl (it is way to early for me to link it to Amazon--find it yourself).
I am not sure why she sent me this book.
I am just now getting to it, since I have been in a week and a half long Jane Austen extravaganza (Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice).
It is an odd book. I think it is supposed to be a funny and engaging read about how to relax and enjoy life more. Be FRENCH.
It irritated me a bit.
I feel bad saying that. First, because my sister sent it to me and that was very nice of her (and she reads this). Second, because I love books and I have such a respect for anyone who writes one and gets it published that I want to love it no matter what.
But, in truth, this feels like a self-help book. Another list of things that we SHOULD do to be happy. A lot like an issue of Real Simple (which I loathe, do not start me on Real Simple) only wrapped up with a pink cover and full of french phrases.
On one hand, I seem to already be French (according to this book). I eat what I like, when I like. I don't really work out. I only buy things I love. I walk around naked. I drink too much wine. I used to smoke like a crazy person (but it hurt my lungs and think even French girls quit after that).
But this book wants you to renounce some of the things that make us American and while sometimes I am incredibly irritated with our culture, I cannot really do that.
Yes, I wish we would get over our body shit. Let people be naked. Who cares if the kids see Janet Jackson's boobs? Lets stop caring about the super thin models.
Yes, I wish people would stop with the crazy diets and working out. Do I not talk about this all the fucking time?
And our obsession with celebrity is downright pathological. And I include myself in that. I read US magazine (at Travis' house, I don't BUY it) stop judging me.
But I love that Americans are always ready for something new. Ready to be something different. This book claims that French girls know who they are and when they find something that works for them they stick with it. The author uses hairstyle as an example. A French girl will find one haircut and stick with it.
How is that fun? Change is so bad? Same with clothes. She will wear this one black dress for years to come. Well I have many of the same clothes that I had years ago and I love them too, but is it so wrong to want a little variety. To try something new.
That is one thing that I love about this country. You can always do something new. You don't like your career? You can have a new one in ten minutes. Don't like the food? There is a new restaraunt down the street.
Another thing the book describes as "American" is an obsession with money.
Americans are totally obsessed with money and work. Some of it is work ethic--which I completely admire and don't understand when people talk about how work is different than life. I work a lot. Why shouldn't I care about it? How sad to work so much at something that you don't give a shit about?
As for money, yes, we are too obsessed with money as a culture. But so is most of the world mostly. And I am noticing that no one is judging these French girls for having enough money to buy these Hermes scarves (a must have) that they will keep for years to come.
I can almost feel the book judging me. I want so badly to like it. Especially since my sister does. I will keep reading, I am sure I am missing something.
Anything.
