Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

A Short List of Reasons that I Am A Cranky Bitch, Or Everything In the World Everywhere

2004-07-26
I am possibly the worst person ever. Everything is irritating me. Everything is pouncing on my last nerve in a collective effort to make me lose my shit all over the place. And then whole world will laugh.

Or possibly I am just a bitch.

Could be either way, honestly.

Here is a short and totally not exhaustive list of things that are bothering me today:

1.The smell of a co-workers Victoria’s secret body spray which she re-applies obsessively through out the day. It is just so fruity. Perhaps she thinks that everyone smells like passionateberry or whatever naturally and she is some sort of hormonal freak missing the gene that manufactures that scent. That is the only logical explanation for her spraying that crap on herself every 2.5 seconds.

2.People who leave their cell phones on at work. We have phones here. Use that.

3.People who leave their cell phone on at work and then do not fucking answer them.

4.People who leave their cell phones on at work and do answer them. LOUDLY.

5.The climate control in this building. I am convinced that they mess up the temperature just to ruin my day.

6.People who have feathered bangs.

7.The woman at my bus this morning that whined when the bus driver waited for a late passenger.

8.That late passenger.

9.People who write emails in ALL CAPS and to make me feel that their business is urgent. Learn to email properly or not all folks.

10.Myself, for falling for that all caps tactic repeatedly.

11. Anyone who has ever bought a low-carb product ever.

12. Anyone who doesn’t eat McDonalds.

13. My homeowners association for sending me warnings about my dogs crapping in other people’s yards when I KNOW that is not true.

14.My HOA for not answering the phone when I call to rip it a new one about said warning.

15. My stomach for making me puke three times already today.

16. The zit on my chin.

17. My mother for giving me these tubby thighs.

18. Me, why should I be hating on my mother that way?

19. Monica for getting to go home early, even though it is for a doctor’s appointment, which is legit.

20. The Hiltons, for not being my parents and financing my faux-career.

21. My husband, for giving me hints about my birthday gift (less than a month away), which was contradictory to the ones that he gave me LAST week.

22.My mother, AGAIN, for calling my father in a panic when I didn’t email her back this morning.

23.Me, AGAIN, for the hating.

In short, I suck. As usual.

2:56 p.m. :: comment ::
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