Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

I Really Really Don't Stink

I was just in the elevator. And it was crowded. And the guy next to me smelled. I mean SMELLED. As in you could almost see the fumes. My eyes were watering. I didn't want to breathe through my nose. But I didn't want to breathe through my mouth either because I might taste that fucking smell.

And then he got off.

Boring story. EXCEPT.

The smell LINGERED. And more people got on the elevator. And since the man had been standing next to me the smell lingered next to me. And I just know that those people thought that it was me making the elevator reek. But it totally wasn't. Because I smell delicious. And even if I didn't? I couldn't smell this bad. I have not bathed for days when violently ill and smelled better than this man. Who, was in FOOD SERVICE.

So now people on other floors think I am smelly.

How can I fix this? Is it neurotic and rude and stupid to walk up to people and introduce myself as, "Hi I am Anyabeth and I totally didn't stink up the elevator?"

I am thinking I can't do that.

Not and stay out of the nuthouse.

4:49 p.m. :: comment ::
prev :: next