Pre-Thanksgiving Mess
Start sending your pity NOW.
J is playing X-Box at work today. Send your hate NOW.
***
My dad just called to tell me that my mother is being a maniac. This is not a surprise but the reason she is acting this way kind of is.
She is worried about Thanksgiving.
One of the reasons that I love holidays with my parents is that they are so low key. Usually it is just the four of us and we wear jeans or sweats and eat when people are hungry and do whatever we please. Manners are relaxed. People lay on the couch. Rolls are thrown at dinner.
My mother decided to invite her very good friend and her mother this year. Her friend Suzanne is quite a bit younger than my mom, she is like 31. And it seems really odd to me how alike they are. Like for a while it lingered in my mind that maybe Suzanne was pulling a single white female on my mom.
I don't really like Suzanne. This is mainly because my mother really wants me to be friends with her and tries to force this. And because Suzanne invites herself along to events that she just has no damn business being involved in. Like buying my wedding dress.
But she is a generally nice person. And she and my mom always have a great time which means that I try to like her. But we are never going to be friends. I just cannot be friends with a grown woman who owns maybe three pieces of clothing that do not have a cartoon on it. I just do not understand that way of being.
So Suzanne is coming and so is her mother. And they have a difficult relationship and I think my mom spends an awful lot of time trying to mother Suzanne. Trying to make things up to her.
And so now apparently Thanksgiving has to be perfect. And I am dreading it. Which sucks because I really like the holiday. We usually have such a great time.
And this is pretty much why Suzanne and I will never be friends. Because my mom tries to MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
Anyway, my mother is in a panic trying to make everything just so. She has set the table already. She is concerned about timing dinner.
It is starting to feel like a Social Occasion and I really do not do Social Occasions. Not if I can avoid it.
Which I can't this time so I am just whining here.
***
Speaking of whining. I had my first solid bowel movement in months this week. I did a little victory lap around the bathroom. I wanted to tell the world but the world is not interested. The world frankly is tired of hearing about my crap. And so I am telling all of you. WHEE!
***
So J and I keep going back and forth on "trying" to have a baby. Mainly because I am a freak.
I don't like the idea of trying. First, if you tell people that it is really gross and they will constantly imagine you having tons of unprotected sex. Which is all fine and dandy between consenting adults but is a little weird to have your grandmother thinking about.
Also, if you are trying you can fail. I don't do failing so well. Er or at all. I am just so afraid of failing. And especially at something that is so basic and easy and biologically intended.
And I always have this oh shit moment where I think "I have not been to Paris yet."
But basically I know I am never going to Paris. I don't like to travel all that much and would never spend that kind of money on a trip or at least not any time soon. So mainly it is that whole fear of failure thing that stops me. So we are not trying. We may, or may NOT be having lots of unprotected sex.
How mysterious I am.
