Welcome Guests
Or something.
On the bright side we have decided that we are in love and are planning to make out. If her husband is anything like mine he will not mind at all if we take photos.
Is that overshare?
By the way, I did not use company resources or time in any way to hook her up in any way that was inappropriate. No way. Not me.
Anyway, if anyone else needs to take advantage of my mad shopping skillz (note the z) send me an email. I like a challenge.
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If you eat a frosted Pop Tart and drink a Coke as an afternoon snack your hair will stand up on end and your eyes will bulge out of your face.
On the bright side, your boss will walk by and compliment you on how productive you are today.
He really has no idea.
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I was running for the elevator and the doors were closing and I extended my handbag out to trigger the sensors. And the guy in the elevator was all, "That was brave."
Brave? Its not like I was using my tongue or something. Though I guess it is possible that if you damage a Kate Spade bag that way some one from Glamour comes out and slaps you across the face.
Anyway. Why didn't you just hold the doors for me, dick?
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The Bitchy Bridal Brigade are arguing very loudly about whether or not it is appropriate to bring children to weddings.
People who do that unless specifically asked are crazy. I mean, why would they want to put a night away from the kids drinking booze into jeopardy by bringing them along.
I mean it is probably really embarassing to have your husband tell your youngest, "Mommy is just resting," when you pass out in the car of the way home.
Or cover their ears when you hang your head out of the window and scream WHOOO at teenage boys.
Not that I have ever done that either.
Anyway! Welcome all of you people who are used to reading something more clever than this! I promise I have written funny things before. At least once!
