A Little Sad
I had a good holiday, by the way. Relaxing. Good food. Good family fun. Nice.
There have not been any knock down drag out fights between any members of my family. I can tell everyone is doing their best to make my sister's visit as nice as possible. Its really wonderful that we are all making that kind of effort.
Its also a little sad. Families have a rhythm to how they function. Everyone has their role to play and somehow it all works. Sometimes you fight or disagree with each other. Sometimes you are annoyed with each other, but eventually you fall back into that easy pattern. The one that feels like home.
My sister isn't part of that anymore. This may be a good thing or it may be a bad thing. That is really up to her. If she is happier in Florida and away from all of us then it is a good thing. But that doesn't make it any less sad.
And maybe she doesn't find it sad. Maybe she doesn't notice. But to me, it should feel like we have a piece missing all of the time. And instead, when she is here it feels like we are trying to cram another piece into a very small space.
Its uncomfortable for everyone. And no one is sure how it will sound or look. But she is only ever here for a week or so and you can make anything work for that long.
Its still sad to me. How you can never go back. I miss my family. And I am finally accepting that that family is gone forever.
