Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Germ Wars

For the nine thousandth time, this week I realized that I am just different than other people.

People are just freaked out about germs.

I know that I have written about this before. But seriously, people do shit that I would NEVER even imagine. And they do it automatically. And they think it is really weird that I don't do it too.

For example, a friend of mine told me about a fight she had with her boyfriend because he wore his shoes in the bathroom.


I really didn't understand what the deal with shoes in the bathroom would be. I have worn shoes in the bathroom. In fact, I have an easier time imagining why you would be grossed out by some one NOT wearing shoes in there than why it would be a problem if they did. She explained that EW she walks in her bare feet in there.


I still don't actually get it. But I guess she is worried about the dirt and germs on his shoes getting on her feet. I mean, I would get why she would worry about that in her mouth or something. But germs on your feet? Meh. Not a big deal to me. What are they going to do? Make you lose a toe? I have health insurance, I would go to a doctor first.

Another friend told me how she washes bagged lettuce. Ok. Maybe it is just me but I buy bagged lettuce in part because I don't have to wash and tear it and I am a lazy, ugly American that way. If you have to wash it, that defeats the whole purpose. Besides, I have a hard time convincing J to wash things like grapes and apples I would have no shot with bagged lettuce. She said, "Once I found a bug in it." And I still don't get it. Did she eat the bug? Was the bug a roach? Because if there was a bug in there it means that they probably didn't have pesticides on that leaf which would be better, right? What does she think would happen if she ate a bug? That he would live inside of her and eventually organize a revolt of her organs? Actually that would be sort of cool. I do think its unlikely though. I mean, what kind of bug would want to take over that freak?

Yet another gal practically shoved me out of the way in a public bathroom. I was going to touch the handle on the door after washing my hands. She screamed, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE DON'T WASH THEIR HANDS!?!?!?!"

FUCK WOMAN. I was touching a door with my hand. I wasn't licking it or rubbing it with my genitals. SETTLE DOWN SISTER MARY CLARENCE.

I think she didn't get that I don't care. I mean unless people have shit on their hands I think its going to be ok if I touch it. If they pee on their hands, while very very gross, pee is sterile. It is not going to hurt anyone.

But I think what does hurt people is this fear of germs. My god, we used to eat veggies right out of the ground when I was a kid. Just brush the dirt off. I have eaten many fruits without washing them. I have touched approximately 90 million bathroom doors.

I have never gotten sick from any of those things.

If you discount issues from Crohn's (which is a chronic condition and not an infectious disease) and migraines I almost NEVER get sick.

The woman who was shrieking at me has spent most of this winter with bronchitis. In fact, she thought nothing of hacking all over me that day. But GOD FORBID I touch a door.

Where did this obsession come from? I really don't understand. People talk about scouring their sinks every day and using bleach on their countertops. I mean, I clean my house (sometimes). But if there is a little dirt in there it is not hurting anyone. It really isn't. Its just dirt. You could eat it. But don't.

The only time I understand this is when you have some one who is very ill in your home. Or a baby. Or a very old person. Those people are especially at risk for infections and you do have to be careful. But most of us can handle germs. In fact, they are good for us. Helps to build resistence to disease.

And also, prevents you from being that annoying harpy who freaks out if you don't use a toilet seat cover.

7:35 a.m. :: comment ::
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