Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Saggy Black Socks

My headache from hell hasn't really gone away. Its still lingering in the back of my head, occasionally the little devil pokes my brain stem with a hot fork and one of my eyes loses vision for just a second.

Nothing to worry about in other words.

I took the early bus this morning because J has an appointment today and isn't going to work. My bus driver said "Welcome Back" which was nice but also very very strange. The same damn people were on the bus too. The lady with the cane that always manages to hit some one with it. The weird guy with the spiky hair that I saw jacking off in the parking lot. The guy with the giant Ford truck who always takes up TWO PARKING SPACES.

Comforting really.

But they are changing the route around and getting rid of that stop like next week so really it was a last hurrah.
My friend here at work, Gladys, and I were talking about Spanx yesterday. If you do not know what Spanx are (I would link it but I am not googling that word on my work computer) they are bike short type underwear that makes your stomach look flatter. They are not girdles, because girdles are uncomfortable and weird. Spanx are just ugly, but extremely effective. A must under clingy dresses. And Gladys had gone to a fancy party a couple of weeks ago and was getting dressed so she just had on Spanx and a strapless bra. He husband walked in and was just like, "Huh, I would have thought you would wear nice underwear under a fancy dress."

Men are just fools. Because underwear that goes under anything cute is just plain ugly. Strapless bras? Not flattering. They tend to either smoosh your boobs down or push them into weird shapes that look a lot like shelves. They also cause little pooches of fat on the sides. This happens to everyone, even if they are thin, even if they have the most perfectly fitted bra in the world. The only strapless bras that look good are the ones that look terrible under clothes.

Spanx are ugly. They are just horrible and unflattering but man they make your ass look hot in a dress. And your abs perfectly flat. And they keep you from getting any sort of heat rash on your thighs.

So really the choice is to look hot all night, or look hot when you take your dress off. And if you are married you know what your choice has to be. The man is contractually obligated to fuck no one but you, he can look at the damn Spanx.

Besides, J sometimes walks around our house naked except for little saggy black socks. I don't want to hear about it.

7:18 a.m. :: comment ::
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