Even Forrest Gump Had Good Diction
My evil twin Monica (I really should just make a macro for that huh) and I went to McDonald�s for lunch today. The counter girl, the counter girl. I didn�t understand a single fucking word that came out of her mouth. It came out �welhmmmmplumchmmdshmmmkeORDER?� WTF!?!?!?! I had to strain to hear that too. Speak up. Pronounce each word slowly. Don�t slur you lush. So I said, �Pardon?� because I didn�t want to have to say that her diction sucked eggs. She glared at me like I was being racist. This isn�t about being racist sister. This is about at least giving me a shot at understanding you. I have this same problem in Alabama and I speak redneck for Christ�s sake!
She just kept slurring at me until I finally just nodded. I probably agreed to let the cook jack off into my burger for all I know. Pissed me the fuck off though.
So I can�t be as happy about Thursday as normal. I have to go to work tomorrow. For an award�s meeting. Which means I also have to wear business attire. The only way I am even able to force myself to do this is that A. one of my pals at work is winning the biggest award at our company at this meeting B. I get 40% off one of my favorite brands of shoes tomorrow. I am still bitter about having to drag my ass up before noon though.
J wants to watch football all weekend. Or at least the full weekend that he isn�t at school. I don�t really like football. It�s boring. He has been trying to teach me to like it--since I love most other sports. I am what is known in our neighborhood as a cool wife. I like hockey. And if you want to talk baseball than I am your girl. I play fantasy baseball with the guys. I argue trades. I watch Sportscenter and Baseball tonight (especially when my TV boyfriend Harold Reynolds is on). But football is like physical anthropology in college. I know if I studied hard and I applied myself I could ace it. But I can�t really figure out what that gets me in real life that fucking the professor couldn�t do just as well.
MLH is a big 49�ers fan. Since we bitterly fight about baseball (so badly that we have to have neutral teams in the other league to argue about) J thinks we should like the same team. So far I am going along with this, mainly because I don�t care and because Terrell Owens is hot.
Our neighbors are from Wisconsin and naturally love the Packers. So far my favorite thing about football is calling Kyle a cheesehead.
So football all weekend. It�s going to be such a long fall.