Kidney for Sale
I feel like roasted monkey ass this morning. Have been fighting off a cold/flu thing for quite a while now. Have a fever, cough, sore throat and a headache but it's never progressed into something that is so serious that I need to stay home from work. I just come here and feel like hammered shit. This has been going on for more than three weeks. Isn't there a statute of limitations on the flu? If it doesn't take you down in a month then it has to leave you the fuck alone? I've got four days left and if this flu doesn't either infect me or back off I am going to Jack McCoy from Law and Order.
You have got to keep these goddamn flus in line.
Stupid fucking West Wing last night. If you missed it, it was titled "let's build up a dozen important plotlines and bring in new characters and then drop them in the last ten minutes of an episode because we are too fucking chicken to kill off the President's daughter." Catchy title huh? Remember when that show was interesting and they did unexpected things? Me too. Wonder who castrated them.
Had a fight with the hubby yesterday about Travis. Since we are going to the hillbilly wedding of the century next week I thought that he could pay a bit of the money he owes us. Apparently, I should have just asked if he could sell us a kidney. J reacted the same way. The guy owes us $2400 and is not going to repay it. They both keep acting like he will just hand us a check for the whole amount one day. But J argues that he can't pay even two hundred dollars a month so how is he going to cut us a check for more than two grand?
I want to blame it on Travis but it's really not his fault. It's J's. He cannot say no to his friends. For anything. He would rather let them take him for granted and hurt his family than say no. I love his generous nature--it's one of my favorite things about him. But it's something that we have fought about since I met him.
I think it's a self esteem thing. When you grow up like he did I think you will do anything to please other people. But CHRIST! Don't give them money they won't repay. Don't let them live in your house forever without paying rent. Don't let people use you.
In this respect we have a little role reversal. See most women I know have a bit of that people pleaser in them. And I really don't. And I think this gets me into trouble because people want women to be all sugary and nice. I am nice but I won't let some one take advantage of me. Even if they are my friend or my family. I wasn't brought up that way.
The most harmless example of this is when we need to return something to the store. Even if J bought it and it was for him I have to return it. If we need to complain about bad service or something we were unhappy about I have to do it. He would rather DIE than say something.
The most harmful examples are things like this. When his friends need something that we just can't afford. He doesn't consider whether we can afford to do it or whether it's reasonable. And since he says it's ok they assume it must be.
That's the thing about this whole Travis thing. I bet that Travis has no idea that we need the money. He thinks we don't care since J doesn't say anything. Maybe he should know. You can certainly make an argument that the fucker lived in our house and saw the piddly little unemployment checks that J is bringing in. But I doubt he paid that close attention.
Fuck. I hate fighting with my husband. And we never used to fight. It's the money. Money causes this shit.
I wonder if I could sell a kidney.
