Shopping Alone
Ok funny. Because Monica and I were just talking about how ass is our favorite word. It's more than just a noun. It's an adjetive. It can even been an adverb.
My god, her English major ways are making me nerdier than I ever imagined possible. And I have a vivid imagination.
Went shopping by myself yesterday. I guess that sounds sad but sometimes I prefer it. I am much more efficient alone. Plus, I can not buy things or try them on for completely ridiculous reasons. And not have to think of something that sounds sane in my head. Like I can say, that looks like something that fucking Kara Butts (this girl I hated in high school) might wear now if she is a lonely and sad housewife. You can't say that to your mother--she will have you committed. She will want you to talk about not being over high school. I am over high school but I don't want to look like some one I didn't like then who leads an unhappy life do I? So for her I have to think of something like--too floral. And then I can't like anything floral for the rest of the day. It's fucking exhausting.
I am also trying to utilize sales people more. The whole bra thing has made me realize that when I worked in retail I did know things about the products that my customers didn't know. It's possible that sales people today have that same knowledge and I should quit being such a brat and let people help me.
This worked sometimes yesterday.
Found a cute-assed shirt at Arden B. Have never really shopped there before because I kept thinking that their clothes would not fit me. But I went in. CUTE SHIT. Some of it is too Hilton-sister-ho-bag to suit me but some of it is darling. Tried many things on and all of them fit. Had a hard time letting the sales girls in there help me because they are too thin and cute.
Yes, I am aware that I am mentally ill. Do you think that crazy like this happens overnight? I have been like this forever.
I just think those girls judge me. I am sure that some of them are nice (actually one of them in there really was she brought me a couple of things to try on that I hadn't picked, one of which I bought) but I just have problems.
I went into Bebe's too. I hate Bebe's. A couple of years ago I worked for a bridal/special occasion/sweat shop using/horrible retailer in our downtown shopping center. Bebe's was across the hall from us. My pal Bridget loved Bebe's stuff but she was a bigger girl (not plus sized just bigger) and really couldn't buy much there. But she would go in for their accessories and an occasional top. So one day we go in there and the sales girl says "we don't sell clothing in your size here."
WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!?!
First of all, you don't even know what size she is. Second, butt the fuck out.
We did get the last laugh though. We knew her manager and got her ass fired. But I haven't bought anything there since, hadn't been to the store either. Wouldn't buy their shoes at our store. I went in yesterday. They are as evil as I remembered. Not to me. Maybe I look scary. But the sales girls SNEERED at this older woman. SNEERED. That could be my mother bitches!! Don't you treat her that way.
Fucking Bebe's bitches.
