I'm BAAAAAAAAACK

I am back ya'll! I have eighty-four thousand emails to do. And phone calls to return. And I just took an hour to explain my trip to Monica who recoiled in HORROR. HORROR people.

We had fun. It was very strange. I am very very tired. I have many stories to tell and possibly pictures since we bought a digital camera. But I do not, alas, have time at this moment. So here is a teaser of topics that will be covered.

1. Inappropriate high school graduation speeches and the hill billies who give them.

2. Po Folks emporium and why I am so stupid because I did not get a picture.

3. Why you do not want to sleep in Oregon.

4. Shopping for anti-lice materials in small town America.

5. Wishing that I had never seen Helter Skelter.

6. My happy new shoes.

7. Why Sonic is the best place ever.

8. Arguing about politics in an Irish pub in San Francisco.

9. The longest drive EVER.

10. Why I am ten years old.

Ok number ten would take too long to cover. But I will get to everything else I think.

Also, I am tired of hearing about Ronald Reagan. He is dead. He isn't coming back. Why is everyone whining about this instead of freaking out because Ashcroft is testifying under oath that we have never tortured anyone even though they are holding the pictures in front of him?

God.

I am back. Are you sure you are glad?