Best Bitches Forever
Finally get home. Dogs are in moods.
Things that irritate Darla:
1. Anything and everything that Buster does at any given time.
2. Planes
3. Anything good on TV
4. Food that is not for her
5. When I move away from the couch or bed
6. Waiting for more than 2.5 seconds for me to fill her water bowl
7. Frogs
8. Bugs of any kind
9. When I talk to the neighbors
10. When anyone talks on the phone
11. Being held upside down and sung to
12. When her poop is green
13. Buster getting the green cookie because Darla has green poop
14. Sudden noises that no one else can hear
15. Being locked out of the bathroom
Things that irritate Buster:
1. Darla sitting on his head
2. Being forced to sit before getting dinner
3. When he throws up and is not allowed to eat it
4. Being told, "please do not pee on your sister."
Things that make Darla happy:
1. Taking Buster's bone away from him
2. Taking Buster's toy away from him
3. Taking Buster's cookie away from him
4. Sitting on Buster's head
5. Barking at strangers
6. Hogging the entire bed
7. Eating until she vomits
8. Eating that vomit
9. Licking your face after eating vomit
10. Having her head petted and being told repeatedly that she is "the prettiest girl in the world."
11. Growling if number ten is stopped.
Things that make Buster happy:
1. Kitties
2. Cookies
3. Run-run
4. Pooping
5. Bones
6. Walks
7. Eating
8. More kitties
9. More run-run
10. Sleeping
Can you tell that Darla is an evil little bitch? Can you tell that she is my one true soulmate?
She is the most whiney, spoiled, demanding, evil little dog ever and I LURV her.
Because she will always make bitchy comments about Jennifer Love Hewitt with me.
