Damn Cat and Fucking Husbands
However, we had a sighting last night--she was playing with the neighbor's cat--and she wasn't dead or maimed or being coverted by Mormon's so we are good.
I have been assured by cat people that this is normal. And that kitties find their way home. I am used to dogs, who are way too dumb to come home and would just wander the streets until they died. But the cat people tell me that Big Kitty will come home any time now.
By the way, let me tell you that yelling Big Kitty in your neighborhood will make you feel very stupid. I kept trying to explain to people that she really isn't that big and I didn't name her so really I am not so unoriginal as to name a cat Big Kitty.
People were looking at me like I was crazy.
Which is not such an unreasonable thing no?
***
Got into a big fight with my husband on the way home.
He told me that I freak out too much and I should relax.
Want to freak me out? Tell me to JUST RELAX.
Fuck him. Fuck you! Seriously. I know that I shouldn't freak out. But I am a calm collected soldier at work and I freak out at home. Its not reasonable. Its not healthy. I know that. I am not five. But if I could stop don't you think I would cocksucker?
I guess I am still mad. Thought I was mostly over it.
FUCK HIM. Seriously. What is that?
JUST RELAX.
You just relax. In your game room. On the futon. Where you can sleep until you promise not to say that anymore.
Mother fucker.
He suggests that I take warm baths to calm my stress. How long have we been married? Does he know me at all? First of all warm baths make me pass out because of my low blood pressure. Second, I DO NOT FIND THEM RELAXING. I just sit in there and freak about the same shit with nothing to distract me. Third. FUCK THE THIRD. I JUST HATE HIM RIGHT NOW.
Now that is relaxing.
