Post Its From My Soul
Ya'll, its a FIVE DAY WEEKEND!
Today was a little strange though. I have many post its I want to stick the world, please see below:
To the Gross Man Picking His Nose in Traffic: PLEASE USE A TISSUE. THANKS, THOSE OF US ON I-5 AT 5:45 TONIGHT.
To Whomever Took a Shit in the Bathroom at Work and Tried to Cover it Up by Spraying Estee Lauder Beautiful: I HATE YOU. DO NOT EVER DO THAT AGAIN. YOUR SHIT STINKS AND SO DOES YOUR PERFUME. THAT SMELL MADE ME VOMIT A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH. PLEASE READ EVERYBODY POOPS AND GET OVER YOURSELF. HUGS AND KISSES, THE ENTIRE TENTH FLOOR
To My Uterus Which Needs to Just Shed That Lining Already and Get on With It:
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET ME GET MY PERIOD! SINCERLY, AB
To All the Voters in America: PLEASE LET US VOTE THIS COCKSUCKING GEORGE BUSH OUT OF OFFICE. THE REPUBLICAN PLATFORM IS SO BIGOTED THAT I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF JUST READING IT. THANK YOU, CITIZENS OF THE WORLD
To Monica Who is Going on Maternity Leave and Leaving Me ALONE: PLEASE DON'T GO! LET SOME ONE ELSE TAKE CARE OF THE BABY! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THESE PEOPLE PLEASE MONICA!!!! LOVE, ANYABETH
To Big Kitty, Who is Still Fucking Gone: BK, COME HOME! WE MISS YOU! WE DON'T WANT TO TELL YOUR OLD MAMA YOU RAN AWAY! WE HAVE HORRIBLE VISIONS OF YOU PATROLLING THE HIGHWAY CRYING "MAMA!" PLEASE COME BACK!! SINCERLY, MR. AND MRS. ANYABETH