Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Wedding Website?

Yesterday the Bitchy Bridal Brigade was all about showing everyone their wedding websites.

Did you know weddings need websites now?

Yeah me either. It is sort of convenient and all. It tells your guests where the ceremony is and at what time and where the reception is and at what time and where you are registered at. I mean, I thought your invitation was supposed to give people location and time info but what do I know. And the reason that registries are not on invitations is that is considered some rude ass shit. Because that is like saying "YOU MUST BUY ME SOMETHING REALLY FUCKING EXPENSIVE AND USELESS OR YOU ARE GOING TO HELL."

Though having a central location of where people are registered without having to call their sister the day before the wedding and not being able to pretend that you spent time looking for a gift? Is pretty awesome.

So one of the brides shows me her website. And I completely start obsessing about how there are all these spelling errors in it and how her grammar is terrible and how she changes fucking tenses several times during a paragraph.

Yes, I totally see the irony of me criticizing her when I put this shit out into the world.

But I don't send this website to God and everyone either. If I did, I couldn't talk so much shit about them now could I?

And I am totally going to hell for thinking badly of this website. She is so happy. Its not doing anyone (except me) harm. Why do I have to be so fucking critical?

The rest of the information is all about how the couple met, what happened during the proposal, blah blah blah.

I started thinking about how my wedding website would have looked, should such a thing have existed when I got married. And had some one forced me to make one.

It would have said something like AB and J met when AB needed a replacement client to practice on during massage school. J was wearing an obnoxious Hawaiian shirt and had weird hair so she couldn't really ignore him in Starbucks. J couldn't stop talking about himself and really just rambled on and on during their first meeting, but he had a sweet sweet ass so AB called him back. The rest is history.

The proposal story would be something like: J proposed to AB early on winter morning. It was about 3 am and they were talking about nothing in particular when he just slipped in, "Will you marry me?" To this day, no one is really sure if either party was awake at the time but a deal is a deal after all.

Not that these are not sweet stories but I don't need my grandmother reading them.

8:08 a.m. :: comment ::
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