Kit-Kats and Natural Disasters
As your reward for putting up with me, I will tell you a really humiliating story about me that I am told is funny.
A couple of weeks ago we were headed for a friend's house to play poker. And, being the Kit-Kat junky that I am, I grabbed the last mini Kit-Kat for the road. I snarfed it down like a little pig, not realizing that it had crumbled a bit into my lap.
Fifteen minutes later I noticed something very sticky on my leg.
I turned on the light and found out that I looked like I had shit myself on the outside of my pants.
The Kit-Kat had crumbled and then melted all over the insides of my thighs and into the crotch of my jeans.
So pretty!
SO I spent the rest of the trip scraping off the chocolate (and eating it! because I had no choice! and also! no shame!)and trying to make myself look normal.
I vowed never to eat a Kit-Kat again, which lasted approximately three days. Go me!
***
Very very irritated with the US media right now. There is a giant disaster in the world, killing more than ten times the number of people killed on 9/11 and the big story is that a former Sports Illustrated cover girl was injured?!
The hell?!
I am sure her mother cares but does anyone else? I mean, the Sports Illustrated readers of the world will find another girl to jack off to, I have complete faith in that. So could we cover the now forty thousand dead, more than a third of which were children?
Maybe this is why the rest of the world sees us as assholes. We were outraged when they didn't shut down the world on 9/11. But a natural disaster takes out an entire region and we are concerned because a model got a scratch on her million dollars thigh.
Goddamn. We are assholes!
None of us get Kit-Kats today! I mean it!
