Weddings and Balls
I must have looked really disgusted because the nice elderly gentleman next to me said, �Could you tuck that away, you are upsetting the young lady.�
God bless him.
Men of the world. Tuck your balls away. Especially if they are hairy and purple and you are riding a bus at 5 in the morning.
Lots of wedding talk in this office lately. With two engaged women it�s only natural. Of course everyone has advice for the brides-to-be. Of course most of their advice is about where to have the ceremony and what to serve at the reception. I told both of them not to do Cinnamon Schnapps shots before the pictures. It makes your face to red and blotchy. Once again, I seal my label as least romantic woman on the planet.
I had a beautiful wedding. I wanted to go to Vegas and elope but my mother wanted me to have a wedding. So that is what I had. Because weddings are about the mothers, they have nothing to do with brides. My mother chose my dress, the flowers, the colors, etc. I had veto power but I really didn�t care a lot about the details. It was lovely. At least I remember it being lovely. But I had the measles (we didn�t know yet) and a 102 fever so my memory might be a little suspect.
I do remember my now husband�s grandmother calling me fat. And the subsequent holding back of my best friend who was ready to beat the crap out of her. I love my husband, but his family is white trash. My family is at least a generation or two removed from white trash so we don�t usually have fistfights at our wedding. Weddings in his family usually include a brawl involving at least seven people. If they are lucky, the bride won�t be one of them. If TT had hit his grandmother my family would have been aghast and shocked�his would have nodded their heads in satisfaction.
Nobody hit her. She hasn�t been invited to my house though. Because she still hasn�t apologized. She says I misinterpreted what she said. I would feel bad for causing a family rift except I am the one that forced J to invite her in the first place. Now he just tells me that I should have listened to him.
I wasn�t raised by people who bury water in their backyard and have yard decorations made of tires and tin cans�I thought it was normal to invite your grandmother to your wedding.