Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Gay Marriage, Health Codes and Voices in My Head

Ya'll, I am a pathetic sap. I have been watching all of the gay weddings in San Fran for the past week or so on the news. And I cry. Every single time.

I love the little old men. The ones that have obviously been together forever because they look alike and they even have matching ear hair. And all the babies! So many babies. And everyone is crying and happy. And the grown up children who are BAWLING. Seriously. How can anyone not cry?

But since last night was like day ten of me doing this, J watched me in horror as I sat in front of the TV crying again. "Do we need to medicated you?" was all he had to say.


Went to the mall on Friday. And ate at Taco Time. After the boy had take my order he pulled at the top of his pants which were falling off of him.

That is when I noticed that they were unbuttoned, his belt unbuckled and they were only half zipped.

I have never really worked in food service. But I do know that if that is not against the health code IT SHOULD BE.


Told Monica I would take a pregnancy test this weekend. I chickened out. If it is negative I am going to be so sad. If it is positive I am going to be terrified. In this case I truly believe I am better off not knowing.

Except I keep having this conversation in my head:

Self: I am absolutely not pregnant. It is too fast.

Self: But I could be. I mean I am late. And I am so tired and am peeing all the time.

Self: I always pee all the time. Having a small bladder proves nothing.

Self: Oh my god! I can't be pregnant! It is too close to Monica! People will think I copied. Besides that means that we will have maternity leave right on top of each other which will create so much drama.

Self: It doesn't matter. Because I am not pregnant.

Self: OOOOH! This would be the best excuse ever to skip my cousins' wedding!! No one expects you to fly to Iowa in your third trimester.

Self: You are so selfish. You won't even be pregnant because you now deserve to be punished for being a bad cousin.

Self: If you get punished for that, that could have been my birth control for my entire life.

And it just goes on and on and on. NOT HEALTHY.

See, I am not pregnant. People as mentally ill as me don't have babies.

7:25 a.m. :: comment ::
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