Oscar in Summary
Let me tell you that it is a little surreal to watch the Oscars when you have seen NONE of the movies that are nominated. I am fairly certain that I only saw one movie in the theatre this year. Maybe two.
I hate going to movie theatres. I hate paying the prices. I hate not being able to get up to pee. I hate that you can't talk because it really is upspeakably rude. I hate that if I am bored I paid nine dollars for this crap so I am not leaving. I hate that there are so few movies that I can really lose myself in so why go at all.
That being said, I really do love movies. Old ones usually. Or ones that no one else likes. I am like a movie version of my mother, the woman who buys the ugliest Christmas tree because no one else will.
So last night I was just watching the clothes (so many that I liked, I want to look like Selma Hayek) and wanting people to win not because of their performances (which I am sure were excellent) but because I like them.
I was largely successful with my picks, which pretty much confirms my take on the Oscars. That they are a popularity contest. Which, by the way, I do not see as a bad thing. But WHY OH WHY did Hilary Swank win AGAIN. Seriously, those teeth take up the whole screen. Any movie she is in all I can see are her teeth. I think she beautiful but I am ALWAYS aware that she is in a movie. Which means that her acting is really not that great. Oh, and her accent in (at least the clips) that movie was the most RIDICULOUS thing I have ever heard.
I was so relieved that Natalie Portman didn't win. God, even her spot as a presenter sounded like she was a damn robot.
I thought that Chris Rock was fabulous. And made the broadcast actually watchable. I loved watching all the presenters come out after he insulted them, having to act like it was all in good fun. EXCELLENT AND CATTY. Just as it should be.
But, let me just be the latest to say, I miss Joan RIVERS. Star Jones is horrible. And boring. And everyone hates her so you don't get to see any good clothes. Sure Joan was scary and looked like a muppet. Sure she was always stoned out of her mind. But that is part of her charm!
So YAY for movies I didn't see!
