Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Somewhat Better

2003-10-24
Ok sometimes I don't mean to get so intense. My last entry was maybe too personal for me to leave up on the front page.

The husband is avoiding me. So so much for less serious topics. I am not sure what the deal is. He tells me his back hurts. I am sure it does. He has a lot of back problems. And the pain could easily put him in this mood.

Unfortunately, I am not really sure that is it. He doesn't take of himself. He won't sit right or lay right unless I bully him. He just wants me to massage it and make it better. Now I am highly trained and very talented--I feel confident saying that--but I can't "fix" people. It doesn't work that way. And every time he just shrugs off my advice feels like a slap in the face. It feels like he saying, "just rub my back and shut up." Even though he has never said that.

It makes me not want to help him. Because it feels futile.

That probably makes me sound awful. It probably is awful.

At any rate, since his back has been bothering him more he has been different. Just removed from the situation. He doesn't care about anything (except baseball). He doesn't want to talk to me.

I shouldn't let it hurt my feelings. I mean, when I don't feel well I am not very nice to him either. But it does. I can't help it.

Sometimes I am just fucking ridiculous.

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Ok on a different tangent, when I left work yesterday there was this woman blowing her nose. I mean LOUD. It sounded like some one was anally raping a goose in there. Just over and over. And there were a lot of people in there. So I was just thinking, how odd that there are all these people out there who won't take a shit in a public bathroom but this woman is willing to force her lungs through her nostrils like that. Sounding like she is sexually assaulting a goose all the while.

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

10:40 a.m. :: comment ::
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