Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003


I got a google hit last night for "how to make UNO Attack work," buddy if you are still here make sure that the lid is completely shut and clean the little spinny rollers with rubbing alcohol.

Spinny rollers. It's a wonder that I am not a technical writer isn't it.

Less than twenty four hours until the baseball playoffs start! Ya'll don't even understand how much I adore playoff baseball.

I love watching baseball when it's cold, when you need a blanket at the stadium and even want one on your couch at home.

I love how melodramtic the fans get--how each pitch could mean the series. The sports writers are even worse--overanalyzing things like sports drink choices and how involved the players' wives are.

We talk about pitchers' ages in years, months and DAYS--like they are babies campaigning for a spot in a fancy preschool.

And can I confess that the prospect of a Cubs/Red Sox World Series has me all flushed? Ok. And a little hot and sweaty.

But putting Kerry Wood, Nomar, Mark Prior and Johnny Damon (even with the bad hair) on one field is just asking for that. And when they are all after the championship? I'm not made of stone for crying out loud.

The fact that my Flubs are in the playoffs makes me want to kiss strangers on the street. If the get to the Series I will become Catholic so that I can petition the Pope for the Cannonization of Dusty Baker. My grandpa likes to joke about the Cubs, "they killed my father, now they are coming for me." I know that the guy wouldn't let the fucking goat in the bar--but haven't we suffered enough? He is not far off about the death thing either, I think I have suffered, but my grandpa has been alive for this whole horrifying run.

And can you imagine if we could get through a goddamn baseball season without hearing about the fucking "curse of the Bambino"? Is it sacraligious to paraphrase Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech? OK I won't, but still.

Even before the Series, these playoffs are fantastic. Can Radke shut down the Yankees? How will Atlanta do again Chicago's Big Three? Barry Bonds will undoubtedly dedicate these playoffs to his father, but will he be able to dedicate a championship?

The only thing that could possibly ruin it is a Braves/Yankees World Series. What a boring bullshit Series. Talk about two teams that are boring to watch. First, the Braves wouldn't even be able to sell out a single games in Atlanta. Second, both teams play like they are afraid to lose, not desperate to win. I suppose they are--if the Yanks go another season without a World Series there will be some serious hell to pay in New York. And Atlanta has become a joke with twelve division titles but only one World Series ring to show for it. But I want to watch a team like Boston, Minnesota or Chicago--who lets it all on the line every game.

Besides the husband is a Yankees fan. And I have to live with him gloating until Spring Training if they win. Please don't make me go through that again.

I guess I just love the fanaticism of October baseball. This is our game. Other countries like Japan and Cuba love this game and play it well. But they do not live it the way America does during the playoffs. There is nothing like that.

Only a few hours left . . .

6:17 a.m. :: comment ::
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