Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

I Am That Innocent

It is not even seven and today is totally screwed.

I had alarm clock difficulties today and also wardrobe problems. Was half an hour late to work (not that anyone is here or cares but it messes up my head really). And I HATE my outfit. I mean really really hate it.

My t-shirt is too short. I do not know when the clothing manufacturers of the world decided to make t-shirts so short that normal cannot wear them. We do not all look like Britney Spears and even if we did I think there are occasions when we would like to have our stomachs covered. For me this is every day, but I am willing to consider the possibility that other people feel differently.

These are the same sadistic freaks who decided that tapered legged pants are back. These look good ON NO ONE. Seriously, I have seen them on every perfect-bodied model and actress on the planet and they look like ass on everyone. So lets just skip this trend. Because you and I are going to look like heifers. Especially if they make them super low-rise so our hips hang over the top of our pants.

Shut up. Everyone's does. That is the sad part. Even these perfect little gals have fat that hangs over the waistbands of their jeans. WHO DID THIS TO US?

Dear Clothing Manufacturer,

Please make SOMETHING that I can wear to work or around my father. I am not an old person, don't make me shop in the old lady department just because I do not want to show my belly, butt crack and cleavage with every outfit. This does not make me a prude but a reasonable adult. I will spend money! I once bought a fifty dollar t-shirt because it covered me up so I will obviously pay way too much for your products if you will only find a way to make me not look like a hootch.

You devoted customer,


So now I will be crabby until about noon about my too short t-shirt. But, I am going to the baseball game today so this tragic event will not ruin my day. Especially if the freaking store would just open so I could just go buy another shirt.

6:44 a.m. :: comment ::
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