Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Mr. Fix-It

Thank you to everyone who sent their support about yesterday. I thought about it a lot, to the point of not sleeping so well, and I have decided that it is not worth the mess that would inevitably result from my doing anything about it.

But still. Suckage.


Also, the skirt that I bought at Banana doesn't fit! It is too large in the waist and too small in the hips. I choose to believe that this is either that their fit is weird or I have a very small waist. I refuse to even entertain the notion that my hips are too fat.


Had a long conversation with myself about why it was not a good idea to wear my Ramones t-shirt to work. Unprofessional and slovenly and all of that. This conversation concluded with me agreeing to wear jeans and flatter shoes to work and to get fish and chips from Emmett's for lunch. When you argue with yourself you can always get a good deal out of it!


I got home very late last night. Discovered the husband had cleaned the downstairs and cooked dinner.

Can I get a HELL YEAH?


In every marriage there is a division of labor. How that works is highly individual and I have never figured out how other people negotiate these things. We each get to do the stuff we like and we try to make the other one to the things we HATE.

One of my major jobs is to be the bitch.

An incorrect bill? I call and get it straighten it out. Bad service? I call. An item needs returned? Yup, me again. I think this is basically because J has this need to have everyone in the free world like him and think he is funny and charming and that is hard to pull off when you are sending back your meal in a restraunt because there is not enough cheese on it.

So when our bank made an error with our online bill-pay and charged us $175 in bank fees he wanted me to get them back.

Here is the problem with that. I am a terrible liar. So if I am going to bitch some one out I need to be 100% sure it is warranted and that I am right. I don't do the bill pay online. He does. So I am just going with what he said he did. Which I am sure he isn't lying. But he is not so great with details so he might have made a mistake and not remembered blah blah blah.

So I didn't really want to do it.

And J stepped up and said fine, he would do it.

Which shocked me.

And then he didn't do it for like a week and I thought well there goes 175 dollars.

But yesterday, he went to the bank and basically cried and flirted and pleaded with the bank manager who, of course caved. My husband is practically a woman now.

And I couldn't be prouder.

Of course he wants me to call the Homeowners Association to complain about the lawn service.


OH! And one more thing to convince you that I am ridiculous and J is a SAINT.

I do not change light bulbs. This is not because this is hard or challenging but because I just never think about it. I don't remember to buy them and I don't remember to put them in once I have bought them.

When I lived alone, more than once I had practically a dark apartment with only the bathroom light working because I was just so dumb about this subject.

One of the lights in our bedroom and the one in my closet are burned out. Have been for more than a month. The one in my closet is particularly bad. I believe I have spoken with rapture about my closet. It is about the size of a New York City apartment (unless you live on Friends) and is FULL of crap. Also, since I get up at 4 am it is where I get dressed.

For the past month I have been doing this elaborate routine with turning on the hall light and opening doors so that I can see my clothes and getting dressed in the bathroom. It is annoying and frustrating. Worse, it doesn't even do what it is supposed to do which is prevent me from waking up J with the lights.

Yesterday I came home and he had replaced the light in our bedroom. I was thinking, "God he is smart, I never remember to do that," when it occurred to me that MAYBE he replaced the bulb in my closet. The bedroom he uses. He should want there to be light in there. But my closet? THOUGHTFUL.

He had.

I have never found him more sexually attractive in our lives. He cleaned the house. Made dinner. Argued with the bank and did household maintenence.

In other words, he was ME.

Damn he was hot.

Which means I am hot ALWAYS.

Also, that I really need a wife.

Also, given his delight at my sudden amourous attitude I believe he will be replacing lightbulbs for many years to come.

7:15 a.m. :: comment ::
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