Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Poker Pickups

My husband is in watching the debates and I am playing online poker.

Heh I am such a bad liberal.

To defend my position I know who I am going to vote for already. There is literally nothing that either candidate could say or do that would make me change my mind at this stage.

And I find all the coverage creepy. J was listening to the intro on the car radio on the way home and the PBS kept talking about what color ties the candidates were wearing.

Are we that fucking sad that THAT is what we care about?


So I am playing online poker. Not for real money. And I am always shocked by what pickup joints online poker rooms are. They have little chat windows and when you have an obviously female handle (like, I don't know, ANYABETH) and a graphic of Princess Leai (I am married to a Star Wars geek though I am pretty sure I spelled that wrong) you get hit on a LOT.

Examples of lame pick up lines I have gotten in a poker room:

Is that picture really you? (It is a promotional still of Carrie Fisher so NO FOOL)

You are hot.

Can I buy you a drink?

You don't play like a girl.

If I let you win will you suck my cock?

I mean, this is all so ALLURING I do not know how a married gal is supposed to resist. I am not sure how I am to react really. Do they think I am going to break out the webcam and start masterbating? Because that shit isn't happening. Especially not for free.

But the best was when several guys told me they were going to pull a circle jerk on me because I won some big pots. Now this is not a chat community. So I do not have some sort of identity tied up with my handle. So I didn't feel threatened or violated. Just annoyed. I wanted to play poker. And I didn't get what these guys wanted or what they were doing.

I still don't. And I still play. Because those things don't happen much. It doesn't make me feel upset or offend my feminist sensibilities. The truth is I know I can bluff a lot of pots while these assholes try to pick up on me.

Which seems like the most appropriate answer of all.

7:00 p.m. :: comment ::
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