Tantrum Warehouse
Tact Free Since 2003

Doggie Therapy Needed

You know, Sandals Resorts, if your homophobic policies were not off-putting enough, using American Idol's "A MOMENT LIKE THIS" (and, yes, I am horrified that I know the song) makes your resort a less attractive option than Clown College fantasy camp.

J had to cut Darla's nails this morning. I am the biggest baby in the world and can't make myself do it (what if I cut them to short and made her bleed and she is crippled for life, etc). So I sat on the sidelines cheering him on.

Which really is petting Darla and cooing to her to keep her calm. Extremely helpful things like "You know Mama would never do this to you because she is not mean like Daddy, no she isn't. She actually loves Darla-dog."

We should just cave and invest in doggied therapy right now.

So he is clipping her nails and she is on her back staring at me with her big wet eyes. And pieces of her nails are flying around in the air, I think at least seven of them hit me in the face. And Buster is watching all of this looking like, "Yup, that is why I trust NO ONE."

Of course she won't love me later on today when I shave her. Then she will try to eat my hand and possibly piss on my leg.

So lady-like.
J is going to the movies today so I am trying to think of something that I want to do enough to leave the house. I have just been in this mood where I want to do nothing.

Ok I have been in that mood for like ten years but, you know.

I should really get my eye brows waxed. I am starting to look like Brooke Shields' unkempt, chubby, blond half sister who has been living on a mountain far far away from any waxing or threading services. Or a mirror.

Not to put too fine a point on that. Its not pretty.

Actually should pluck J's today too. There really should be too.

Its family grooming day! Buster better hide or I am painting his nails pink.

He could try and convince the neighborhood dogs that he is butch then.

10:58 a.m. :: comment ::
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